Selling is Personal Communication and Relationship Building with the Prospect
If you are a sales manager in charge of training new recruits and sales people you know you have your work cut out for your. Many people have been told that they are a natural salesperson, due to their persuasive demeanor. But selling is much more than that and all too often new sales people on your sales team, just do not understand this and this is why
I always advised the sales managers for each of our franchised outlets to tell their sales people that; Selling is Personal Communication and Relationship Building with the Prospect. Selling is not about telling it is more about listening and problem solving.
The more your sales staff understands this the easier it will be to train them to properly represent your company and make sure they close a larger percentage of sales, thru good listening, thinking, adapting, problem solving and closing. If you are the World’s Great Salesman, like Og Mandino’s book points out, then you should always have your customer thank you afterwards.
As a Founder of a Franchise Company I can tell you on occasion I did thank our vendor’s sales people, when they solved a problem for me and I invited them to lunch and I made sure I picked up the tab.
This is the level of service,which will make your company and your sales team great and it will result in hundreds of strong referrals and more closed sales. Every sales manager must get this mindset and make it part of their mantra if they truly wish to wipe the competition and out sell themselves each year. I hope you will consider all this in 2006.
Lance Winslow
Tags: Prospect, Relationship Building, Selling is Personal CommunicationWhat Angels Do
Introduction
Many people don’t really understand the nature of our guardian Angels. Every one of us, as long as we are in our human form has one or more angels with us at all times. In many years of working with individuals to help them come into closer contact with their guardian Angels I have experienced that they are present for each and every one of us. This message from them describes what they do, why they help us, and how we can receive their gifts to the fullest extent.
Angel Message
“We are given unto you as gifts of God, gifts of Creator. We are the expression of Creator in a form that you may more easily access and experience. We are given unto you to help carry you onto God, to help carry you into the love of God, to help carry you into the expression of the love within you.
Above all, we are given unto you for the expression of your soul; the true, deep, and complete expression of your soul. We have been with you from before your birth, from before your conception, when you were a soul in the splendor of heaven. We were with you at the time that you chose what gifts you would share with others upon the earth.
Your soul in pure form is pure light, pure love, pure joy. The gifts that you have chosen to embody, and carry, and to bring into full fruition upon the earth, are those very gifts that bring you joy, wonder, and excitement. They bring you into a natural place of buoyancy, of the joy of sharing.
We amplify your ability to connect with the gifts that you carry within you. We work with you to open your willingness to experience your own gifts within, to see and know them as pure expressions of love, to hold them, both sacred and true, and pure, and yet to share them with no holding. With no reservation. With no concern of how they are accepted. We stress this last part, that you have no concern, that you have no expectation, that you have no demand upon those whom you give your gifts to.
We ask you to look upon the heavens above you, seeing the moon, the planets, the stars, the endless and infinite galaxies of stars; all of this creation revolves in order that the soul is expressed in pure and true form. All of this has been given upon you and to every soul in form.
Realize that whatever limitations of consciousness you currently carry, reality is infinite. God is infinite. Our abilities, the abilities of the Angels, are truly infinite. We withhold nothing from you. Creator withholds nothing from you in your role of true creation as a being of love, and of light, and of compassion, of caring and of devotion to what you have come upon the earth to express.
We are completely outside of your ideas of limitation of any kind. We are not limited by time, or space, or place or amount.
It is vital that you understand this. As you call upon us to assist you, there is no diminishing of our energy, of our ability, of our presence. There is no diminishing. We are given unto the people of the earth to serve, to assist, to guide, to arrange, to partner with. We have no other reason for existence. Please take this in and know that you are our full occupation. We do not have another “day job” or other responsibilities that you distract us from when you call upon us.
We wish you to know that Angels are in total service to you in your present condition and your present level of consciousness. In the exact moment of your life you find yourself in right now. We carry no judgments. We carry no criticisms. We carry not even expectations for you. We make no decisions about when to help you and when not to help you. We have no free will in this matter. That is not our role. We are not created in a configuration of choice or judgment. We are beyond any concept of judgment.
We express the will of Creator in a form and in a manner that you can easily connect with, that you can access for all that you need in the present moment. This remains true moment to moment throughout your lifetime. We never evaluate you are good or bad. We never give or withhold based upon any concept of good or bad. There is no withholding of any kind within our realm. All we do is give infinitely, completely, eternally to you. Please realize as deeply as you are able that the grace we carry to you, the gifts we carry to you, the love and the loving presence we carry to you is not dependent upon your behavior. It is not dependent upon your past. It is not dependent upon you doing anything in this moment, other than receiving it.
We shine upon you as the sun shines upon every plant, every tree, every shrub, withholding nothing. The sun does not judge this plant worthy and this plant unworthy and shine only upon one. We wish you to fully and completely realize that our love is infinite, our gifts are infinite, our presence is infinite and is given to you exactly as you are in this moment. There is nothing that you need do to receive this. There is nothing you need accomplish to receive this. There is no redemption you need to achieve to receive this. There is nothing you need do except to attain the consciousness of receiving.
And this, which we have just labeled attainment, is nothing more than merely letting go of all beliefs of limitation, lack, critical evaluation, and judgment. For, while we are not free will beings and are given completely unto you, you, however, are a free will being.
It is very important that you realize that your choices are fully honored. Your choices are completely respected. We do not and cannot force anything upon you. Even a blessing that is so important for you, so dear to your heart and so dear to your soul can only be received by you if you allow it.
We wish you to realize that for you to experience receiving our assistance and our help you must choose this for yourself, you must invoke this within yourself, you must milk your own willingness to receive. You must ask to receive. You must be willing to receive. And yet this is all you need do, nothing more than this.”
Christopher Dilts has helped people come into greater partnership with their Guiding Angels for over ten years. For sessions or workshops, FREE Angel Messages, and our FREE Monthly Teleseminar, contact http://www.askanangel.org or newinfo@askanangel.org.
Tags: angel communication, angel messages, angels, help from angels, personal grow, religion, spiritualityAssertive Communication - 6 Tips For Effective Use
What IS assertive communication?
Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It recognises our rights whilst still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people. And it allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists.
So why use assertive communication?
All of us use assertive behaviour at times… quite often when we feel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves we may resort to submissive, manipulative or aggressive behaviour.
Yet being trained in assertive communication actually increases the appropriate use of this sort of behaviour. It enables us to swap old behaviour patterns for a more positive approach to life. I’ve found that changing my response to others (be they work colleagues, clients or even my own family) can be exciting and stimulating.
The advantages of assertive communication
There are many advantages of assertive communication, most notably these:
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It helps us feel good about ourselves and others
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It leads to the development of mutual respect with others
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It increases our self-esteem
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It helps us achieve our goals
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It minimises hurting and alienating other people
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It reduces anxiety
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It protects us from being taken advantage of by others
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It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life
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It enables us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative
There are, of course, disadvantages…
Disadvantages of assertive communication
Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may not approve of the views you express. Also, having a healthy regard for another person’s rights means that you won’t always get what YOU want. You may also find out that you were wrong about a viewpoint that you held. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand and therefore not accept this style of communication.
What assertive communication is not…
Assertive communication is definately NOT a lifestyle! It’s NOT a guarantee that you will get what you want. It’s definately NOT an acceptable style of communication with everyone, but at least it’s NOT being aggressive.
But it IS about choice
Four behavioural choices
There are, as I see it, four choices you can make about which style of communication you can employ. These types are:
direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant, opinionated, and overbearing
indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceiving, ambiguous, insinuating, manipulative, and guilt-inducing
submissive: wailing, moaning, helpless, passive, indecisive, and apologetic
assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible, and spontaneous
Characteristics of assertive communication
There are six main characteristics of assertive communication. These are:
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eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity
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body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message
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gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis
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voice: a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not intimidating
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timing: use your judgement to maximise receptivity and impact
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content: how, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than WHAT you say
The importance of “I” statements
Part of being assertive involves the ability to appropriately express your needs and feelings. You can accomplish this by using “I” statements. These indicate ownership, do not attribute blame, focuses on behaviour, identifies the effect of behaviour, is direcdt and honest, and contributes to the growth of your relationship with each other.
Strong “I” statements have three specific elements:
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Behaviour
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Feeling
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Tangible effect (consequence to you)
Example: “I feel frustrated when you are late for meetings. I don’t like having to repeat information.”
Six techniques for assertive communication
There are six assertive techniques - let’s look at each of them in turn.
1. Behaviour Rehearsal: which is literally practising how you want to look and sound. It is a very useful technique when you first want to use “I” statements, as it helps dissipate any emotion associated with an experience and allows you to accurately identify the behaviour you wish to confront.
2. Repeated Assertion (the ‘broken record’): this technique allows you to feel comfortable by ignoring manipulative verbal side traps, argumentative baiting and irrelevant logic while sticking to your point. To most effectively use this technique use calm repetition, and say what you want and stay focused on the issue. You’ll find that there is no need to rehearse this technique, and no need to ‘hype yourself up’ to deal with others.
Example:
“I would like to show you some of our products”
“No thank you, I’m not interested”
“I really have a great range to offer you”
“That may be true, but I’m not interested at the moment”
“Is there someone else here who would be interested?”
“I don’t want any of these products”
“Okay, would you take this brochure and think about it?”
“Yes, I will take a brochure”
“Thank you”
“You’re welcome”
3. Fogging: this technique allows you to receive criticism comfortably, without getting anxious or defensive, and without rewarding manipulative criticism. To do this you need to acknowledge the criticism, agree that there may be some truth to what they say, but remain the judge of your choice of action. An example of this could be, “I agree that there are probably times when I don’t give you answers to your questions.
4. Negative enquiry: this technique seeks out criticism about yourself in close relationships by prompting the expression of honest, negative feelings to improve communication. To use if effectively you need to listen for critical comments, clarify your understanding of those criticisms, use the information if it will be helpful or ignore the information if it is manipulative. An example of this technique would be, “So you think/believe that I am not interested?”
5. Negative assertion: this technique lets you look more comfortably at negatives in your own behaviour or personality without feeling defensive or anxious, this also reduces your critics’ hostility. You should accept your errors or faults, but not apologise. Instead, tentatively and sympathetically agree with hostile criticism of your negative qualities. An example would be, “Yes, you’re right. I don’t always listen closely to what you have to say.”
6. Workable compromise: when you feel that your self-respect is not in question, consider a workable compromise with the other person. You can always bargain for your material goals unless the compromise affects your personal feelings of self-respect. However, if the end goal involves a matter of your self-worth and self-respect, THERE CAN BE NO COMPROMISE. An example of this technique would be, “I understand that you have a need to talk and I need to finish what I’m doing. So what about meeting in half an hour?”
Conclusion
Assertiveness is a useful communication tool. It’s application is contextual and it’s not appropriate to be assertive in all situations. Remember, your sudden use of assertiveness may be perceived as an act of aggression by others.
There’s also no guarantee of success, even when you use assertive communication styles appropriately.
“Nothing on earth can stop the individual with the right mental attitude from achieving their goal; nothing on earth can help the individual with the wrong mental attitude” W.W. Ziege
When you match consumer psychology with effective communication
styles you get a powerful combination. Lee Hopkins can show you
how to communicate better for better business results. At
Hopkins-Business-Communication-Training.com you can find the
secrets to communication success.